January 13, 2021

Very few times have I stared at a blank screen and blinking cursor for so long without typing anything. When I started this blog, I called it Plan Q because that seemed to be where most of my days ended up.  Plan A rarely stayed intact. I was and still am constantly recalculating to keep... Continue Reading →

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January 22, 2021

Just a quick, positive update this morning: I had an MRI yesterday morning, standard procedure to make sure there aren’t any additional “areas of concern” beyond the mass found in my ultrasound. I got the ALL CLEAR!! So for now, no more biopsies or other tests looking for lurking tumors. As I walked out the... Continue Reading →

January 20, 2021

A few days after my diagnosis, when I was having "a moment," Jim asked me what was upsetting me the most. His question helped me get out of that moment to really pull apart the reasons for my tears and attempts at deep breathing. And it's a question I've continued to ask myself each time... Continue Reading →

January 16, 2021

Today was the first day I woke up and didn’t have the feeling that I was grasping for something, searching for whatever was making me feel wrong and then remembering, oh that’s right: Cancer— crap.  This morning I woke up and that knowledge was right there with me. I didn’t have to rediscover it. Maybe... Continue Reading →

The Last Day

I spent last Sunday half overseeing, half staying out of Owen’s way as he did his final college packing. We’d been prepping for a few months, we had so many lists—  shopping and packing lists, lists of things to submit, lists of things to pay for. Then we’d pared down the lists in line with... Continue Reading →

Enduring Words

Going through some family paper recently, my dad found his grandmother’s high school commencement speech, written in 1895. The sentiments of my eighteen-year-old great-grandmother as she left PS No.9 in Brooklyn are enduring 125 years later, relevant to today’s world state, and particularly poignant to me now as the mother of a 2020 high school... Continue Reading →

The Nonstarter

nonstarter: someone or something that is not productive or effective – Merriam-Webster This year, as a ninth grader, Katie was really struggling to find her thing. As she played competitive softball through middle school and into the fall, she realized with increasing clarity that she loved the softball part much more than the competitive part.... Continue Reading →

March 2020: The Irrelevant Hawaii File

When something BIG and difficult happens – a tragedy, a loss, a crisis – I initially feel like I can’t write about it. How can I wrap words around something that’s just too much? Then I have the accompanying dilemma of how to write about anything else, when the BIG thing is blocking my way. ... Continue Reading →

The EPE

There are life moments that contain a certain weight, pinnacle moments on which our structures are strung and shaped. These moments can be deliriously high or traumatically low, but most are somewhere in the middle, somewhat everyday, but also sparkling. In our family, these moments have a label: EPE. This term was coined by my... Continue Reading →

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